How does taekwondo teach kids to lead?

By Master Milad

Every parent wants a kid who leads. Almost nobody can tell you how that actually gets taught.

Here’s our honest answer: you can’t lecture a child into leadership. You give them a little responsibility, watch how they handle it, then give them a bit more. That’s the whole method. Taekwondo just happens to be a great place for it, because there’s always someone a belt behind you.

The paper in my drawer

I was in grade 8 when I got invited to my first leadership class. It was a brand-new thing back then. On day one, we sat down and wrote our goals on a sheet of paper. One of mine was to become a master.

I still have that paper. It took a while, but I got to cross that one off.

What is the Leadership Team?

It’s one of our clubs, and it’s by invitation. When an instructor sees your child is ready, they’ll ask. It’s free, and it runs at our Port Moody and Burnaby schools.

Long before anyone’s invited, we’re watching the small stuff. Who lines up without being told. Who helps a brand-new white belt find their spot. Who still does all ten push-ups after the instructor turns around. Leading isn’t about being the loudest kid in the room. It’s what you do when nobody’s watching. Our instructors have a saying: we don’t recruit leaders, we notice them.

In leadership class, students practise three things kids rarely get to practise anywhere: speaking up in front of a group, setting the example, and running a small group of younger students.

Then they do it for real

After a few leadership classes, they step into real classes to help. Holding targets. Holding boards for a breaking drill. High-fiving a nervous five-year-old. Then giving corrections. Then giving praise, done properly.

That last one surprises parents. “Good job” is easy. Telling a kid exactly what they did well (“your knee came up higher that time, that’s why the kick snapped”) is a skill. Fair warning: you’ll start hearing it about your front stance at dinner.

The day I didn’t look up

In grade 12, I was a leader, and one afternoon I ran late to my 3:45 class. Only a couple of minutes, but late is late. I changed fast and got paired with a boy at his very first class. He had energy. A lot of it. He wasn’t being bad, he was having fun, so I stayed patient and kept him going the whole class.

I was so locked in on him that I never looked around the room. At the end I said, “Okay, let’s go find your parents.” I walked him over, and his dad stood up.

Hugh Jackman. Mutton chops and everything.

I’d just spent a whole class teaching Wolverine’s kid to kick, and I had no idea. Honestly, that’s the job. The kid in front of you gets all of you, no matter who’s sitting on the bench.

The quiet ones and the wild ones

Some of the best, most loved instructors we’ve ever had started in leadership. Master Thaila and Instructor Stephanie were quiet, shy kids. Master Atila and Master Hubert had energy to spare. All four went on to teach. Leadership didn’t change who they were. It gave them somewhere to put it. (Got a quiet one at home? This post is for you.)

Teaching makes them better students

Try explaining a front kick to a six-year-old. You find out fast whether you really understand it. Leaders move up level by level, and they show their head instructor they know the material before they help with harder classes. Leadership isn’t a break from training. It sharpens it.

Where it can go

For some, it keeps going. A teen who knows their stuff, teaches well and shows up every time can be hired as a paid instructor while still in high school. That’s a real job, a real reference letter, and a line on a university application most teenagers can’t write.

No timelines, no guarantees. It’s earned on the mat.

What you can do at home

Ask them to teach you something from class. Then be a terrible student. They’ll love it.

Swap “When are you getting invited?” for “Who did you help today?”

Help them write one goal on a piece of paper, and keep it somewhere safe. Twenty-five years from now, someone’s going to want to see it.

And if they haven’t been invited yet, that’s OK. Keep showing up. The invitation follows the habit.

Character first, skill second, belts third. Leadership is where all three meet.