Does taekwondo help with bullying?

By Master Milad

Yes. And to be honest with you, it also teaches real combat skills.

Taekwondo is one of five Olympic combat sports, alongside judo, boxing, wrestling and fencing. A kid who sticks with it learns footwork, and how to strike with fists, elbows, knees and feet. Push-ups make them stronger. They get faster, more agile and more accurate. Over the years they become genuinely capable, though how capable depends on the child and how long they train.

That’s exactly why we go character first, skill second, belts third. With great power comes great responsibility.

I know what taekwondo does for a bullied kid because I was one.

The new kid, again

We moved a lot when I was young. New city, new school, new kids sizing me up. By the time we landed on the North Shore, I was used to being the new kid. And I was getting bullied.

My parents tried another martial arts school first. It just wasn’t the right fit for me, and I didn’t want to go back.

Then one day in 1997, my mom and I were walking up Lonsdale and caught a demo at the grand opening of Grandmaster Choi’s new school. My mom asked if I wanted to try taekwondo or karate. I didn’t know the difference. I was nine. I said okay.

I did a trial class. We signed up after.

The day it worked

A few classes in, my instructor taught us to stand our ground. Stay calm. Hold eye contact. Use a strong voice. That instructor was Master Kook. Back then he was still in university. Now he’s the president of Taekwondo BC. I like to think I was good practice.

Not long after that lesson, I was on the playground with my back against a wall and two boys threatening me. I got into my stance and kicked. They were so startled they left me alone.

Here’s the part that matters. The kick wasn’t the lesson. Standing tall was. I’d stopped looking like an easy target.

What changed after that

Taekwondo gave me the confidence to stand tall, use my voice and think for myself. It gave me values too: our five tenets (courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control and indomitable spirit), our academy philosophy and, most of all, the student oath.

In grade 5, my teacher asked me to lead the stretch at the start of the day. Turns out the kid who does taekwondo is a lot cooler when he’s the one up front. It helped me make friends. The thing that made me different stopped being the thing kids picked on.

Nobody knows how you feel on the inside. They only see what you show on the outside. At first you borrow the confidence. Fake it till you make it. Then you earn it, class by class, until it’s real. And once your breathing’s under control, you can talk to anyone.

Recognize, refuse, resolve, report

Here’s what we teach every kid in our Kids program.

Recognize. Notice bullying when it’s happening: to you, to someone else, or when you’re the one doing it. Awareness is the first of our six A’s of self-defence. You can’t fix what you don’t see, and the longer it goes on, the worse it gets.

Refuse. Don’t let hate win. It’s not right. If you’re the one doing it, stop. If your friends are doing it, ask them to stop. If you see it happening to someone else, speak up. If it’s happening to you, say it clearly: “Please stop. I don’t like that.”

Resolve. Try to sort it out. Lead with respect. Offer an olive branch.

Report. If you can’t resolve it, tell your parents, your teacher and your instructor. There’s no shame in it. Your kid can say: “I tried to handle this the mature way. I’m a kid. It didn’t work. Now an adult needs to step in.” Adults appreciate a kid who speaks up early. At school, that’s what the adults there are for.

And be smart. If it’s someone else getting picked on, don’t put yourself in front of someone bigger. Get an adult. Every situation is different.

When it won’t stop

If the school has stepped in and it’s still happening, don’t freeze and don’t go quiet. Stand. Look them in the eye and say it in your strong voice: “Is there a reason you keep picking on me? I’m not afraid of you. Leave me alone.” Most of the time they laugh it off or walk away. That’s a win. Either way, report it again. Hands come up only if they come at you, and only to protect yourself. Never strike first.

The rule that goes with it

If a teacher, a principal or another parent tells us one of our students used what they learned here to hurt, harass or bully someone, that student can lose their spot. It’s in our policy.

If it’s happening right now

Talk to your kid tonight. Then talk to the school. Then tell their instructor, so we know what they’re dealing with.

Taekwondo won’t make a bully disappear. It helps the kid they’re picking on become someone who can stand up for themselves, and rarely has to.